


A Pain You Can Love, A Hurt You Can Swallow

by larrymylove



Series: Sweet Where You Lay [3]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: BDSM, Christmas, Collars, Dom Harry, Dom Louis, Dom/sub, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Kink Negotiation, M/M, Nipple Clamps, Role Reversal, Spanking, Sub Harry, Sub Louis, Teasing, they kind of share that really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-18 19:05:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8172575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larrymylove/pseuds/larrymylove
Summary: "There's just one thing; all I ask you to do,
  
  a small something; my body to use."
 Louis discovers another side to Harry, and to himself.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Just a few things to note prior to reading this:
> 
> \- There are mentions of events that take place in the previous parts of this series, but you don't have to read the previous parts to understand and keep up with this fic
> 
> \- I am a firm believer in role reversal in BDSM. People can be very versatile. Doms can enjoy being subs at times and subs can enjoy being doms at times. Whatever works for certain couples works for them and is fine. I understand loyalty to certain characters being doms and certain characters being subs. But I believe people are multi-dimensional and so are characters. Many couples in BDSM relationships just want to fill each others needs as best as possible and sometimes that means a sub being a dom to their dom.
> 
> \- I do not delve too deeply into what BDSM is as I do in some of my other fics. If you have questions, you can read the other two fics in this series. In those there's explanations and kink negotiation and talks of safety and safe words and better descriptions of the color and number system. 
> 
> \- The tense does change in this fic as the very ending was meant to be more of a epilogue. That was done on purpose and I know many people hate tense changes (I do too!) but when writing this fic, it just flowed easier for me this way and I hope that makes sense. 
> 
> \- Please, please, please if you are not wild about seeing Louis act as a dom in this fic, please do not leave a hateful or negative comment just because of that. Everyone has their preferences, but please be respectful.
> 
> Enjoy! xx

 

_There’s just one thing; all I ask you to do,  
A small something; my body to use._

_\- Razor’s Edge, William Control_

***

_A pain you can love, a hurt you can swallow;_  
_She says tie the rope tighter,_  
_She begs the lashes grow brighter,_  
_Here we live on the razor’s edge…_  
_...I want the violence,_  
_I want the freedom in the pain…_  
_….Please sir, tie the rope ready,_  
_Please sir, crash the whip heavy…_

_\- The Filth and the Fetish, William Control_

***

Louis never expected, when he logged onto their shared desktop computer, to come across what he had just three weeks prior to Christmas.

It was going to be their first Christmas together since having gotten together several months prior. Things had moved pretty quickly in the last few months - Louis had started taking classes at the uni with Harry, and had even ended up moving in with him. It happened very fast, but none of it felt at all rushed to them. Since having quit the film industry, Louis was working at a cafe a few blocks down from the bakery where Harry worked, and they traded lattes for cupcakes and bribed each other with kisses for whatever delicious things the other had made. Louis found that it was pretty easy to transition back to a more normal sort of life, especially with Harry by his side. They were genuinely very happy together, and it was going so well.

Except for one thing.

Christmas was three weeks away, and already they had the whole flat decorated with twinkling lights and garland and a tree that was far too massive for the small living area they shared. It looked like a wonderland inside their flat, and Louis had to admit, it was already summing up to be the best Christmas he had had in a very, very long time. And Harry was an absolute nut when it came to Christmas, having already broken out the Christmas songs in early November. He had come home one day with about a dozen scented candles with names like Gingerbread Palace and Sugarplum Cupcake and Snowfallen Sugar. He blasted his Christmas songs, lit all his candles, and baked the most delicious christmas cookies. Everything was absolutely perfect, except for the one thing.

Harry was impossible when it came to gifts.

And it wasn’t that Louis hadn’t tried - he had. He found himself asking almost everyday what it was that Harry wanted for Christmas. But his lovely boyfriend would only ever reply with -

“Oh, Lou! You know you don’t have to get me anything, having you is a gift enough!”

And while that was sweet, and maybe made Louis’ insides turn into melted marshmallows, it wasn’t quite the answer he was looking for. Harry was impossible to shop for, and a little guidance would be appreciated. He seemed to have all that he needed and all that he wanted, and Louis was at a complete loss.

One day, when Harry was at work, Louis decided to get on their shared desktop computer in their living room to hunt around on some of the online stores to see if there was anything that Harry might like. There was one online clothing store that Harry loved the most, but for some reason, Louis’ mind was drawing a complete blank. He knew that Harry probably had the webpage in the browsing history, so he clicked there to sort through it and find what the particular shop was.

What he found instead nearly made his eyes bulge from his head.

There, in the middle of the browsing history from the last week, was a website called “ _Filth and The Fetish._ ” Louis turned to check behind him, even though he knew Harry was out for the afternoon, before bringing the cursor up to the link. He felt his mouth grow dry, and he took a deep breath before clicking. The website was a specialty store for high end fetish items. Louis’ felt his heart race as he clicked through some of the items - studded black leather paddles, braided floggers, cat-o-nine-tails’, collars, cuffs….

His head was spinning and suddenly he felt as though the living room walls were caving in on him. He and Harry had a rather kinky side to them in the bedroom, and he absolutely loved when Harry dommed him. But Louis had his limits, and mostly he just liked a good spanking here or there when the occasion was right. Besides, Harry’s hand was enough like a whip anyway. They had never even discussed these sorts of playthings before, but Louis knew they would be a hard no for him. There was no way he could handle this stuff, as fascinating as it was. He found himself staring a flogger with knotted ends, running the cursor over them and imagining the pain those could elicit. Something like that could easily draw blood, Louis figured.

They had things like this on set back when he worked for Nick. And he had items used on him similar to these, but definitely not as intense. These weren’t just toys, these could do some serious damage. Louis’ mouth felt as though it was filled with cotton and for some bloody reason, he couldn’t look away from that flogger no matter how badly he wanted to.

Surely Harry didn’t want to use these things on him, did he? Louis supposed they could discuss it, maybe work up to it one day. Not the flogger though. Maybe a paddle. _Maybe_. If Harry talked him through he enough, which Louis knew he would. But still, these things were not Louis’ taste at all. Surely Harry knew him well enough by now to know this. Louis liked a little bit of pain here and there, a punishment for pushing Harry’s buttons just enough. He liked feeling small and enjoyed the feeling of being submissive to Harry. He liked feeling soft and little during aftercare - protected. And he had to admit, more times than not, Harry had spanked him because Louis had wanted him to and had done naughty things throughout the day with the goal of going over Harry’s knee in mind. But these things were different than any of that, and they kind of scared him just a bit.

He knew he’d have to talk to Harry about this as soon as he got home from his shift at the bakery. This was not something he could just ignore or pretend he hadn’t seen. They needed to discuss this. And even though they were very open about things in their relationship, and Louis knew he could tell Harry anything and everything, he still felt his stomach churn at the thought of having to bring this up. If this was something Harry really wanted from him, Louis wanted to be able to give it to him. But at the same time, these things were intense. The high-end black leather and sterling silver studded pieces were far different than the pink and purple glittery things they’d use on him back at the set. He wasn’t a stranger to them totally though. Nick had items like this for some of his other videos, and Louis had seen some of them in person but never dared to touch them. Nick probably would have bitten his head off anyway had he tried to. Louis recalled two of the girls that had worked on the set having used the items though. He’d heard them on one of the other sets while he’d been doing his makeup one morning - the screaming and the gasping and the sound of leather against bare flesh. And after, when they had finished, he had seen them heading to their own dressing areas. Kitty’s back was covered in red lashes and Heather was running her hand through Kitty’s hair gently as they passed by Louis’ dressing room. They’d seen him staring and Kitty had just giggled and Heather had kissed her shoulder before guiding her towards their own dressing area.

Louis couldn’t even imagine that. Sure he’d been whipped before on set, and paddled, but those were with lighter, more fun toys. Toys that were meant to give the illusion of something heavier and kinkier, but not to that actual extent. It amazed him though, that people could be into that and be able to handle it. Kitty had been giggly, her eyes glassy and a sleepy smile upon her face. There were no signs of any distress there. Louis was certain had it been him, he’d be a complete mess. But hey, more power to people who could handle it - people who craved it.

But that wasn’t Louis though. And he needed to tell Harry that and quick.

He knew Harry wouldn’t push him into something he really didn’t want. If Louis said it was too much, Harry would drop it in a heartbeat. But even just the fact that Harry didn’t already know this would be too much for Louis was a tad upsetting to him. They knew each other better than that, Louis was certain. But here was this website anyway, right in the browsing history, telling him differently.

Louis minimized the page and set about fixing himself a cup of tea. He needed a distraction from all this, at least for a moment. As he was fixing his tea though, he couldn’t help but think back to some of the items he’d seen on that website. It was like they were etched into his head and wouldn’t get out. Did he want them to though?

He finished fixing his tea and headed back to the living room to watch something on TV while he waited for his boyfriend to come home. Three episodes into a Walking Dead marathon, the door to the flat swung open and he heard Harry drop his keys onto the small table beside it. Louis turned off the TV and jumped up from the couch.

“Hey, baby!” Harry’s usual wide grin spread across his face when he saw Louis standing in the entryway, “I missed you! What have you been up…”

“We need to talk,” Louis said, knowing it was a shitty way to start the conversation. He felt even shittier when he saw the grin instantly fall from Harry’s face and in it’s place, a shadow of concern, “It’s nothing bad,” Louis was quick to add, “but it’s um...it’s kind of important that we do.”

“Oh. Okay then,” Harry nodded, “Um, should we go sit, or…”

“Sitting is good,” Louis nodded. He followed Harry into the living room, tugging nervously on his fringe. He didn’t expect to feel this axious about it. He didn’t want to disappoint Harry, but he needed to tell him that a good majority of the items on that webpage were a hard no for him.

“Is everything okay?” Harry asked, tucking his legs up next to him on the sofa, “You’re kind of scaring me here, Lou.”

“I’m sorry,” Louis reached out and tried to give Harry’s knee an assuring squeeze, “It’s nothing bad, Haz. I just...I found something on the browsing history on the computer and I think we need to talk about it. I wasn’t trying to spy or snoop. I was just...I was trying to remember the name of a webpage and I saw this website and…”

“You don’t need to apologize, Lou. I know you weren’t trying to snoop. What did you find on the computer, baby?”

Louis took a deep breath, “I found an online store that I think you’re interested in buying from.”

“Okay?”

“The store was…” Louis took another breath, “ _Filth and The Fetish._ ”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. And I mean, Haz, I am totally up for trying new things - you know that. And I might be interested in some of those things, but a lot of the items were...they were a lot. And I just know that I can’t handle some of those things, baby. I just...I can’t. And I’m sorry if that’s something you want from me that I can’t give you. But I just...I know it’s too much for me. And I just…”

“Louis.”

“I am so sorry, Hazza. I wish I could give that to you, I do. But I can’t handle those things. I handled a lot on set, but those were nothing as severe as what’s on that website. I just...I have to draw the line there. And I am so, so sorry!”

“Louis.”

Louis winced, “Yes?”

“Honey, no. You don’t...you don’t have to apologize for anything,” Harry said. His face suddenly looked significantly paler than before and Louis was worried he’d upset him by bringing this up at all. But he had had to, right? He had needed to tell Harry.

“I just wish I could give you all you want from me, Haz. But I just...I have to draw the line there. It’s too much...too much pain.”

“Louis.”

Louis gulped, “Yeah?”

“Baby, I know that. I wasn’t um...I wasn’t looking at that website for things for you.”

“You...you weren’t?”

“No.”

“Then who…”

“Louis, I was...I was looking at those things for _me_.”

Louis’ eyes widened to saucers as he tried to process what Harry had said.

“I don’t...I don’t understand.”

“Baby…” Harry took a deep breath and tugged at his lower lip for a moment before continuing. He met Louis’ eyes with a deep, serious gaze as he said, “...I was looking at those things for me because before I met you, I used to be a sub. It was a few years ago, and it’s what taught me how to be a good dom to you. I...I know that might be a bit confusing, but I can be both depending on...depending on the situation. I’m...I’m quite versatile, baby. I love being in control, and I love being controlled sometimes. And while I adore being a dom to you,” with this, he reached out to take Louis’ hands in his own, “...sometimes I just...I miss going under sometimes. But I don’t regret being your dom, or even want that to change, Louis. I am your dom and that’s what matters now.”

“Haz…” Louis’ brows pulled together, “...if you want to go under…”

“I don’t,” Harry said adamantly, “I mean, I think about it sometimes. But it’s not something I need, Lou. Besides, I am your dom and you are my sub.”

“But...you said you’re versatile, Haz. What if...what if I’m versatile too?”

“Lou,” Harry gave his hands a squeeze, “I wouldn’t ask that of you. You’re a natural sub, baby. You just are. And I can’t ask this of you. It’d be pushing you way out of your comfort zone, honey. And that’s just not something I can ever ask of you.”

“But Haz...what if I want to?” Louis asked, “I could. We could try.”

“No, baby,” Harry smiled, but Louis noticed it didn’t quite reach up to his eyes, “I could never ask that of you, Louis. I _will never_ ask that of you. I’m sorry you found that webpage. I’m sorry for looking at it. I just...I was thinking about the past a little bit and fell down a bit of a rabbit hole. I’m sorry if I upset you, baby. But it’s fine. _I’m_ fine. You are everything to me, Lou. And you are my priority. I will never, ever ask you to go that far out of your comfort zone for me - do you understand me?”

“I do,” Louis nodded, “I just...I want to be able to give you things too, Haz.”

“Don’t you worry about me, Lou,” Harry laughed, pulling Louis onto his lap, “I’m fine. More than fine, truly. How could I be anything but fine when I have someone as precious of you to love and spoil, huh?” Harry squeezed at his sides, making Louis curl in on himself. He was trying to distract him, Louis knew. It was working pretty well, he had to admit, giggling as Harry’s fingers prodded into his ribs.

“No more talk of this,” Harry’s hands stilled on Louis’ sides, “Now then, how about you come help me make some spagbol for dinner, hmm?”

***

Louis tried to forget about the website, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t stop thinking about some of the items he’d seen, and what Harry had said. He questioned his own comfort zone. Harry had said he’d never ask Louis to step that far out of his comfort zone, but maybe it wasn’t as far out of Louis’ comfort zone as Harry thought. Louis knew what it meant to go under, to sink beneath the break into that lovely, floaty place of subspace. It was one of his most favorite feelings in the world. He didn’t know what he’d do if that suddenly fell away from him. If Harry had looked at that website and sought it out like he had, that must mean something - right? If Harry was totally fine with being only a dom, and always a dom, why had he even pulled up the webpage in the first place?

Harry had said he was versatile, and Louis was starting to question if he might be too. He knew he was submissive by nature, but if him being dominate on occasion was something Harry wanted, Louis could give that to him. He knew he could. The items on the website had been too much for him if they’d be used on him. But if that’s what Harry wanted, Louis could give that to him.

And suddenly, an idea struck.

When Harry was at the bakery again, and Louis had finished his shift at the cafe, as soon as he got home, he set his keys down and hurried towards the computer. Seconds later, he was scrolling through the items on _Filth and the Fetish_. There was a little section at the bottom of the page for Recently Viewed Items. Louis smirked as he clicked the link. Harry, the little shit, totally wasn’t over this, and Louis could hardly wait.

He flicked through the items Harry had been looking at before his eyes landed on a thick, black leather collar with a silver loop. Louis clicked the picture to bring up the page. It was a gorgeous piece, the leather very high quality. Louis’ eyes widened at the price. For what they were asking, it had better damn well be very high quality leather. The reviews were raving and Louis knew instantly that he needed to add it to the cart.

He added a few more items as well before clicking to the checkout page. He smirked as he typed in his credit card information. Maybe shopping for Harry for Christmas wasn’t so hard after all.

***

Five business days later, a large brown box was waiting on the doorstep when Louis came home for work. He giddily scooped it up in his arms and opened the door to the flat, thanking his lucky stars that it’d arrived when Harry was still at work. Still though, he wanted some privacy to go through it all. He carried the box to the bedroom and locked the door before placing the box on the bed and sitting down beside it to sort through it.

The first item Louis pulled out was the collar. It was wrapped neatly in tissue paper and in bubble wrap. He withdrew it from the wrapping and ran his fingertips over the leather. He had to admit, it felt amazing. He could feel goosebumps on his arms as he ran his fingers over it again. After admiring the collar a bit more, he set it aside to delve back into the box. The next item inside was the metal-studded paddle. Louis felt his stomach dip at the sight of it. It felt heavy in his hand and he slapped it against his thigh to test it out. The thing hurt like mad from just one blow, but if this was what Harry wanted, Louis could give it to him gladly. He set it aside before moving on to the third and final item in the box - the nipple clamps. They’d also been an item in the Recently Viewed section, and they sparked Louis’ interest instantly. Harry’s nipples were crazy sensitive. Louis was one to playfully pinch or tug at nipples whenever he felt the annoyance or pain was justified and deserved. But whenever he did it to Harry, Harry would moan and Louis would grow tight in his jeans and one thing would lead to another.

Louis put the items back in the box, save for the collar. He hid the box under the bed before pulling out the Christmas wrapping from the hall closet of the flat. He found the perfect sized box and nestled the collar in among red tissue paper, before wrapping it all up in cute snowman wrapping paper and a bright red bow. The whole thing looked really far too precious for the item hidden inside, but that somehow made it all the more better.

Louis took the box and placed it under the tree.

***

When Christmas morning came, he woke Harry by straddling his hips and covering his face with a hundred kisses. Harry awoke giggling and grabbed Louis, pulling him back down and into his arms.

“Too early,” Harry murmured groggily.

“Don’t care, it’s Christmas,” Louis insisted, but snuggled into his boy’s arms nonetheless.

“We don’t have to be at my mum’s until five for Christmas dinner,” Harry reminded him, “And we don’t have to go to your mum’s until tomorrow. As far as I recall, I don’t have to be up at…” Harry squinted over Louis’ head at the clock on the nightstand, “...fucking _six thirty in the morning!_ Lou, what the hell!”

“Sorry,” Louis giggled, pressing a kiss to one of the sparrows on Harry’s chest, “But I always wake up early on Christmas. Or did I not warn you of that last night.”

“Seems like you forgot to mention that little tiny detail,” Harry attempted to glower, but looked more like a disgruntled kitten than anything, and Louis told him just that.

“Hush,” Harry admonished, “How would you feel if I woke you up at six thirty on any normal day?”

“I’d kick you in the balls,” Louis replied breezily, “but today is not any normal day, H. Today is Christmas and I want presents.”

“Fine, fine,” Harry sighed, propping up on his elbows, “I don’t suppose I can go back to sleep anyway. Besides, I’m kind of excited for presents too. And my first Christmas with you, my favorite little elf.”

“Oi!” Louis kicked at him, “Let’s go, Styles! Get a move on! The day is wasting!”

Harry huffed, but got out of bed anyway - fighting the massive smile on his face but letting his dimples give him away. Louis followed Harry out to the living room, practically bouncing up and down with excitement and nerves. He didn’t know how Harry would react to the collar sitting under the tree, but he was anxious to find out.

“I want you to open that one last,” Louis instructed, figuring it’d be better - in spite his anxiousness - to save it for the very end.

“Okay, honey. You pick one to open first.”

Louis chose a red package with a bright green bow stuck on the top. He held up to his ear and shook it.

“Jesus,” Harry laughed, sitting back on his haunches, “I swear you’re such a kid.”

“I’m trying to figure out what it could be. Socks! I think it’s socks!”

“Don’t be a shit and open you gift, Lou,” Harry rolled his eyes.

Louis tore into the paper to reveal a beautiful knit scarf, “Haz...this is lovely!” He threw it around his neck instantly.

“I’m glad you like it. Now, tell me which one I can open?”

“Hmm…” Louis scanned the packages before making a selection and handing it over to Harry, “This one!”

They exchanged gifts back and forth - nothing too extravagant, but everything treasured. Finally, only one present remained under the tree. Louis took a breath before carefully picking it up and handing it over to Harry.

“This is something I want to give you, Harry. And I mean that in every way possible.”

Harry’s brows furrowed in confusion, but he began to unwrap the present in his lap anyway. Once he opened the box, his eyes went wide and he let out a gasp.

“Lou?”

“Now, before you say anything, I just want you to know I gave this a lot of thought, H. You said you didn’t want to push me out of my comfort zone. But Hazza, I’m not out of my comfort zone. I want to do this for you, Harry. I really, really want to give you this. I know how lovely it is to be put under and I want to do that for you, Harry.”

“But...Louis,” Harry shook his head, still marveling at the collar in the box, “I can’t accept this. I’m your dom. I’m…”

“You’re my dom, Haz. Always. But sometimes we have different needs, H. You can need to be dommed sometimes, and I’m willing to do that for you. I want to do this for you, Harry. If you’ll please let me.”

Harry reached into the box and ran his fingers along the collar, “How did you know?”

“Just a hunch,” Louis smirked, crawling over to the couch and putting his hand on Harry’s knee, “Baby, I’ve been thinking about it a lot. This isn’t something I rushed into. Not really. I thought about it a lot, Haz. And we’re a team, me and you. We fill each other’s needs. When I need to be submissive, you give me that. When you need to be submissive too, I can give you that as well. I want to do this for you, Harry. And it doesn’t change much, not really. You’re still my Harry and you can be my dom as much as you want. But on those occasions when you need this, I can give this to you.”

Louis saw that Harry’s eyes were beginning to go watery and he scooted up on the couch beside him as Harry said, “It’s different for me than it is for you, Lou. You should know that. For you, it’s about feeling small and feeling safe. For me, it’s more about the pain and the aesthetics of it all. I love the pain of it so, so much. Do you think we can...we can make some sort of balance work? Between me being your dom and you giving me the pain I need?”

“It’s us, H,” Louis pressed a kiss to his forearm, “We can make anything work.”

“I love you so, so much, Louis. This is...this is a lot. It’s a lot for you to give. I want you to know that. And if for a second it’s too much for you to give…”

“I’ll say my word.”

“Good boy,” Harry ran a hand through Louis’ hair, “The best boy.”

“Hazza,” Louis took the box from Harry’s lap and replaced it with himself, wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck, “I’d do anything for you, you know that right?” When Harry nodded, Louis continued, “And if you want to be hurt, that includes hurting you. Whatever you need, baby, I can give it to you.”

“It won’t be a regular thing,” Harry said, running a hand over Louis’ back, “Just once in awhile, when I need it. And I’ll let you know when I do.”

“I know you will, H.”

“And when I do,” Harry rubbed circles with his knuckles along Louis’ spine, “You can do as much as you can, but the second it’s too much you say your word.”

“And you say yours,” Louis said seriously, raising a commanding eyebrow.

“Of course, baby. I can take a lot, honey. I...I have a thing about the pain. And that might be too much for you to handle - too much for you to see. It’s not always easy to give someone like me the pain they want, because it’s hard to see your loved one being hurt like that.”

“If it’s what you want, then I can do it,” Louis promised, “I’m not going into this blind. I’ve done a bit of research, Hazza. And I have maybe bought a few things that are currently under the bed hiding right this very moment just for you to tell me when. And the second you do, we’ll have so much fun with them. I can give this to you, Harry. We are a partnership and I will fill your needs as you fill mine. I would give you the moon on a string if you asked me for it, Haz. But I think NASA might take a bit of issue with that. However, what I can give is a bit of pain, a bit of pleasure, and lots and lots of love to you.”

Harry tucked his face against Louis’ neck, and Louis could feel the dampness of tears on Harry’s cheeks as he said, “How lucky I am to have a boy as wonderful as you.”

***

It is two weeks later, when they are sitting at the kitchen table eating their toast and tea, when Harry says as conversationally as he would if he were to ask Louis to pass the milk -

“So, about that box.”

“Hmm?” Louis looks up over the mug he’s just brought to his lips.

“The box. Under the bed,” a cheeky smirk plays at Harry’s lips.

“Oh, that box,” Louis pulls the mug away, setting it down on the table, and turning his full attention to Harry.

“Yes,” Harry rolls his eyes, “ _that_ box.”

“What about _that_ box?” Louis asks, trying to sound perfectly casual.

“Were you ever planning on telling me what is inside?”

“Nope,” Louis smirks, popping the ‘p’ before saying, “I figured in this case, showing would be better than telling.”

“Okay.”

“Just...okay?” Louis raises a brow, waiting for just that little bit more when Harry shrugs casually and said --

“Just okay. And...I think I’d like to see what’s in that box now.”

***

“You’ll say your word, won’t you. If this gets to be too much,” Louis says, finding himself clasping Harry’s hands to the barred headboard of their bed with the scarf Harry had given him for Christmas.

“Yes...yes of course,” Harry’s voice is like tires on gravel as he says it, wriggling his hands.

“That’s not too tight, is it?” Louis asks cautiously. He wants to do this right. He wants so badly to do this right.

“No, no it’s...it’s perfect.”

Harry is stripped naked, laying on his tummy against the mattress - hands above his head and tied firmly to the headboard. Around his neck is the heavy, black leather collar. The black of the collar contrasts so beautifully against the milkiness of Harry’s skin. It looks as though it was absolutely made for him. His hips wriggle slightly against the duvet, and Louis bites at his bottom lip just a moment before pulling his hand back and giving Harry’s bum a firm swat.

“None of that,” he scolds, “I’ll take care of you, Haz. But after.”

“S...sorry,” Harry’s voice is so strained, so heavy with want and need and desperation already and Louis can barely even fucking stand it, but he knows he has to. He knows he has to put all thoughts of his own need to the side for this moment and give Harry what it is he wants first. He stands up from the bed and pulls the box out from under the bed.

“Are you going to show me what’s inside?” Harry asks.

“Hmm,” Louis thinks it over, thinks what would be best before saying, “How about you close your eyes and guess.”

“Lou…” Harry whines, but complies anyway.

Louis plunges a hand into the box and pulls out the studded paddle. He begins to run the studded side along Harry’s bum and Harry bucks at the sensation.

“Lou...is that…”

“It is,” Louis has to bite down on his own smile and prays he doesn’t sound too excited. He’s not supposed to be excited, he’s supposed to be serious. He can do serious.

“Shit, Lou,” Harry’s voice is completely wrecked as he says it.

“Yeah?” Louis continues to run the paddle along Harry’s bum, marveling at the goosebumps that it’s enticing along Harry’s milky skin. He knows Harry’s number system - number of hits, number of hits before asking for color, continued number of hits dependent on said color. He can do this. He knows Harry’s numbers with him are usually twenty-five, fifteen, and ten. He also knows that when it comes to Harry, he needs more. Louis gives Harry’s bum a small tap with the paddle as he thinks up his own numbers - fifty, thirty, and twenty.

Louis doesn’t give Harry a warning, knows Harry doesn’t need it. Instead, he pulls the paddle back and starts. He watches for a moment after the first hit, marveling in Harry’s moan and the red blooming against the white of his left cheek. Three more hits and Louis is starting to pick up his pace. Soon, he’s hitting over and over again one hit right after the other - the paddle flat against Harry’s entire middle of his bum. Louis’ ticking off the numbers in his head as Harry is practically shouting after each strike. He’s writhing in his restraints and his head is thrown back - something along the lines of agony mixed with absolute bliss upon his face. Louis continues the beating, watching as the white turns to pink turns to red. He’s sure Harry’s going to be completely bruised by the time he’s finished with him, and the thought makes the crotch of Louis’ sweatpants just a tad tighter.

Finally at thirty, Louis stops and leans down to press the words into Harry’s ear, “What’s your color, baby?”

“G-green,” Harry grits out somehow and Louis can’t help but feel the flooding of relief wash over him.

“Alright, baby. Twenty more. Less than halfway there. You can do this, precious.”

Harry keens and Louis picks the pace back up. Knowing Harry’s at green, knowing that he’s this blissed out, relaxes Louis and puts his mind much more at ease. The next twenty hits are harsh and fast and he knows they must be absolute torture. But sweet torture, as Harry is sobbing now and begging soft pleas of pleasure.

Finally Louis is finished. He tosses the paddle across the room just as Harry does when it’s his belt or brush on Louis. He leans down next to Harry and softly brushes the hair back from his face, pulling it off his wet cheeks.

“Baby,” Louis’ voice is a whisper, “Honey...going to untie you now.”

He reaches up and deftly unties the knot at Harry’s wrists. He brings Harry’s arms down and gently turns him over. Harry hisses as his bum comes in contact with the mattress. It’s a kaleidoscope of reds and blacks and blues and purples and Louis knows he needs to be gentle with it now. He makes a mental note to apply some aloe to it once they’ve finished.

“One more present in the box,” Louis smirks, “But first, gonna tie you back up, baby. Need you on your back for this round.”

Harry whines but puts his arms up obediently and Louis feels a wash of awe overcome him. After securing Harry’s hands, Louis delves back into the box and pulls out the metal clamps. He holds them up to Harry and Harry’s eyes turn to saucers. They’re completely blown, more black than green., and rimmed in red. His cheeks and nose are red and tears are still leaking from his eyes. Louis smirks and runs the chain of the clamps across Harry’s right nipple. He bucks and hisses as his bum crashes back against the mattress. Louis’ smirk grows.

“That wasn’t very smart, was it?”

“Bugger off,” Harry pouts.

Louis allows his eyes to wander down a bit to where Harry’s cock is pressed flush against his stomach, curling into the butterfly and heavy and dark with blood. Louis imagines it must be quite a bit painful, and gives the head a little flick. Harry hisses.

“Gonna put these on you, baby,” Louis moves his attention back to Harry’s nipples, dragging the cold metal chain across them until they are dark and standing out hard from his chest. Harry is whining and hissing and his cock begins to twitch against his stomach as if it has a mind of his own. Louis is completely marveled.

He attaches the clamps to Harry’s nipples, Harry letting out a cry when each clamp is secured. Louis gives the chain a little tug and Harry lets out a sob as more tears begin to fall.

“You want to come, baby?” Louis teases, bringing himself back down to Harry’s cock where he begins to tease his fingernails across the leaking, red head.

“P-please, Lou. P-p-please,” Harry stammers out, “C-can...b-b-barely...st-stand...it.”

Louis chuckles just for cruelty’s sake as he continues to tickle his nails over Harry’s head, “Don’t know if I should let you just yet,” he muses, watching a bead of come roll onto Harry’s butterfly, “Have you been good enough, baby? Good enough to deserve to come?”

“Y-yes Louis...been...been s-so...so good -- FUCK!”

Louis dips his thumbnail into Harry’s slit and has to bite his lip to keep from smiling at Harry’s reaction.

“Have you?” Louis controls his voice back to apathetic, “Tell me Harry, do good boys allow themselves to be tied to a bed and spanked until they’re rutting against the mattress?”

Harry lets out a whine, unsure of how to even answer that question.

“Tell me,” Louis gives the chain a sharp tug and Harry screams, “Do good boys allow themselves to be tied to a bed and have their nipples clamped while their cock lies leaking against their stomachs?”

“ _Jesus_ ,” Harry hisses, “Fuck...no. No...n-no they...they don’t.”

“Now tell me, Harry,” Louis brushes this pads of his thumbs over the swollen nubs encased in metal, “do bad boys get to come?”

“N-no...they...they don’t,” tears are rolling down Harry’s cheek to his neck and staining the pillow he’s lying against, “But please... _please_ Lou. I...I have to... _I need to…_ ”

Louis can’t take it much longer. Finally, he goes down and presses Harry’s hips to the bed with such strength he knows he’ll leave bruises.

“Don’t you dare fucking buck,” Louis warns just before swallowing Harry down. It’s not long before Harry is coming down his throat. Louis pops off, but gives Harry’s cock a few kitten licks just to make him shudder.

Louis pulls completely off, smirking filthily and wiping his mouth on the back of his hand before moving up and yanking the clamps off with one firm tug of the chain. Harry screams and Louis tosses the chain aside before devouring Harry’s scream with a kiss. Harry’s exhausted, shaking, but kisses him back with fervor. After breaking apart, Louis reaches up and unties the scarf a final time and pulls Harry into his arms. He holds Harry in his arms, brushing at his hair with his fingertips and kissing the tears off his cheeks. His boy taught him aftercare well. Louis peppers soft kisses on his cheeks and nose until Harry is smiling and giggling in his arms.

“Welcome back, sweetheart,” Louis says, kissing the tip of Harry’s nose.

“Hi,” Harry grins sleepily.

“How...how was that?” Louis asks, suddenly feeling a dip of nervousness in his stomach.

“That was...holy shit, Lou. That was...fuck! I don’t even have words to tell you how amazing that was. How amazing _you_ were.”

“Really?” Louis’ eyes go wide and soft.

“Yeah, baby. Yeah. You were...Christ. That was...wow.”

“Ha, don’t think I’ve ever heard you at a loss for words before,” Louis teases.

Harry wastes no time in giving him a swat on the bum, “Hush you,” he scolds.

“Make me,” Louis’ chin juts out in a challenge.

“Swear to god, Lou…” Harry chuckles, “If I wasn’t black and blue, I’d put you over my knee so fast…”

Louis cuts him off with another kiss.

When they break apart, Harry asks, “So, how did you like being in charge for a change, little one?”

“It was...different,” Louis says, tracing a sparrow with his fingertip, “I liked it. Liked giving you that. Never seen you come apart like that and I...I liked doing that for you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. How about I put some aloe on that bum and we’ll see if you aren’t too sore to follow up with that spanking you threatened me tomorrow though.”

Harry’s eyes fill with softness and Louis nudges his nose against Harry’s cheek before saying, “What? Told you nothing would change, baby. Just because you like having the shit beaten out of you once in awhile, and just because I maybe like being the one to beat the shit out of you, doesn’t mean you aren’t still first and foremost my dom.”

The way Harry looks at him before grabbing him into his arms and holding him tight makes Louis feel as though he’s fallen in love all over again.

Maybe he has.


End file.
